YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE PROBLEM IS? YOU DONT HAVE THIS FREAKING VOLCANO ON YOUR LINE UP YET. WHAT? THAT’S YOUR PROBLEM. YOU ASKED ME, I’M TELLING YOU. DON’T COME HERE ASKING QUESTIONS IF YOU DON’T WANT TO HERE AN ANSWER ALREADY. I’M 101 YEARS OLD. I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR LONG INTROS THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH NOTHING OKAY SHMENDRIK?

KARA ROBINSON BURST ONTO THE SCENE LIKE A FREAKING HURRICANE AFTER CRASHING HER PILOT CAREER INTO THE SIDE OF THE TWIN TOWERS OF FAILURE, ONLY TO ARISE AS A GODAMN “A” GRADE WINNER.

“MY WIFE SAID I’M NOT ALLOWED TO WORK WITH YOU” - BILL CLINTON

WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THAT? WAIT. I’M GETTING TO IT. KARA WAS A QLD STATE FINALIST IN RAW COMEDY 2022, RUNNER UP OF THE SUNSHINE COAST COMEDY FESTIVAL LAUGHABLE COMP 2022, AND FEATURED IN BEST OF RAW QLD 2023. THEY CANT GET ENOUGH OF HER. HER DARK TAKES ON GROWING UP IN A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY TO BANGING HER HEAD AGAINST THE FREAKING WALL IN MODERN DAY AUSTRALIAN LIFE WILL LEAVE YOU GRABBING AT YOUR BUCKET TRYING TO CATCH THE REST OF YOUR FACE THAT HAS MELTED OFF FROM LAUGHING YOUR RIDICULOUS ASSES OFF.

SUNSHINE COAST BASED KARA ROBINSON CLAWS AT YOUR SOUL FROM THE HIGH LANDS OF PAPUA NEW GUINEA. SHE WAS A TRUCK DRIVER IN THE ARMY, A PILOT AND A UNIVERSITY LECTURER BEFORE DOING COMEDY. SO SHE CAN DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANNA PAY HER TO DO.

SHE HAS DESTROYED FREAKIN MICROPHONES ALL OVER QUEENSLAND, IN NEW ZEALAND, AT THE MELBOURNE INTERNATIONAL COMEDY FESTIVAL AND AT TOWNSVILLE' NAFA. IF THAT’S NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU, IN 2023 ROBINSON STARTED HER OWN COMEDY COMPANY, DIVINE COMEDY. DIVINE HAS RUN COMEDY ROOMS THROUGHOUT SOUTH EAST QUEENSLAND AND LAUNCHED THE HIT, CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED SHOW “SHELLSHOCKED”. THIS SHOW WAS A GODDAMN NATIONAL TREASURE OVER HERE. PICTURE THIS - A VETERAN’S COMEDY SHOW, FOR VETERANS, BY VETERANS THAT ALSO DONATED A BUNCH OF CLAMS TO LEGACY AUSTRALIA. CHRIS FRANKLIN HEADLINED IT. THIS SHOW WAS A FREAKING SUCCESS IN EVERY SENSE OF THE FREAKING WORD. AND LEST WE FORGET, THE SOLD OUT SHOW KARA STARRED IN WITH MICHAEL ALBRECHT AND STU FOREMAN AT GOOD CHAT COMEDY FESTIVAL.

KARA ALSO CREATED A PODCAST CALLED GREAT COMEDIC MINDS, FEATURING MANY EARLY SIMPSONS WRITERS, F IS FOR FAMILY CO-CREATOR AND MANY OTHER COMEDY GREATS OF THE WORLD AS GUESTS. SOME OF WHICH WERE EX CLIENTS OF MINE. EVEN THOUGH THEY’LL NEVER ADMIT IT. BUT I DONT HOLD A GRUDGE. WHY WOULD I HOLD A GRUDGE? BABY, IM JUST GLAD THEY ARE DOING FINE AND THAT THEY ARE HAPPY.

SO DO IT ALREADY. GET HER TO DO WHATEVER SHOW, BRISS, FUNERAL, BODY HIDING THING YOU WANT HER TO DO ALREADY. YOU WONT REGRET IT. THIS LIFE IS NOT FOR REGRET. TRUST ME. IM 101 YEARS OLD. THEY ONLY THING I REGRET IS THAT TIME I TOLD GEORGE BUSH SENIOR THAT SADDAM SAID HE WAS A PUSSY.