GREG SULLIVAN - COMEDIAN, WRITER, RADIO HOST, SEA PIRATE

“So many people were unsupportive when I got diagnosed with Autism and ADHD, but Max Bessel was on the phone as soon as he found out. He is such a big supporter of acts who struggle with finances and organising. He has helped me with my taxes and fines and gives me an allowance every week. I’d be literally lost without him” - Greg Sullivan

OKAY HERE WE GO. YOU WANT A GUY WHO DOES IT ALL? HERE HE IS. WHAT? DONT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT. THIS GUY IS THE ONE YOU WANT. RADIO, COMEDY, HE KNOWS HIS WAY AROUND A SHIP, HE MAKES THE BEST GEFILTE FISH SANDWICH IN TOWN. GREG SULLIVAN’S GEFILTE FISH WAS SO GOOD, WHEN MY MOTHER HAD A BITE SHE COULDNT HANDLE IT SO MUCH SHE DIED ON THE SPOT, LEAVING GREG EVERYTHING. GREG THOUGHT IT WAS SUCH AN HONOUR, HE DECIDED TO SELL EVERYTHING AND LIVE IN THE CHUCK GREEN 1976 VOLVO WAGON HE INHERITED OFF MY SWEET MA. NOW WHENEVER I EAT A HALF DECENT GEFILTE FISH, I THINK OF GREG SULLIVAN. GREG SULLIVAN, THE GEFILTE FISH OF STAND UP COMEDY. SUBTLE, CRUDE AND PUNCHES YOU STRAIGHT IN THE FREAKIN GUTS

I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME I MET GREG. IT WAS THE NIGHT I SIGNED AWAY HALF MY FORTUNE (AGAIN) TO MY FOURTH WIFE. YOU KNOW, THE ONE WITH THE GIMPY LEG AND THE SPEECH IMPEDIMENT THAT MADE HER SOUND LIKE PETER SELLERS IN “THE PARTY” IF HE HAD AN EATING DISORDER WHERE HE ONLY EATS OYSTERS STRAIGHT THROUGH THE SHELL. GOOD LADY.

GREG WAS PLAYING THE IMPROV IN LA THAT NIGHT. AFTER SIGNING THE DIVORCE PAPERS I DIDNT THINK MY NIGHT COULD GET ANY BETTER. BUT HOLY GIBLET SOUP THAT KID REALLY TOOK US ALL BY SURPRISE. I HADNT SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS. HE WAS LIKE IF DON RICKLES HAD NICE THINGS TO SAY ABOUT JAY LENO AND JOHNNY CARSON. I CHASED HIM DONE AFTER HIS SET. WE SHARED A SHTICKLE HERRING. WE SPOKE, WE LAUGHED, WE CRIED AND WHAT CAN I SAY FOLKS, THE REST IS HISTORY.

"IT'S JOKES LIKE GREG'S THAT KEEP ME IN THE BUSINESS." BUD FRIEDMAN (OWNER, LA IMPROV COMEDY CLUB. WE’RE RELATED SOMEHOW BUT WE NEVER TALK ABOUT IT)

SINCE THOSE DAYS “SULLY” WON MANY AWARDS. HE’S BEEN DOING THIS THING OF OURS SINCE 1995. HE’S DONE A LOT. WHAT? YOU NEED ME TO TELL YOU THIS? YOU KNOW THIS ALREADY. GREG HAS BEEN ON TV, RADIO, IN THEATRES, OVERSEAS, UNDER THE SEA, THROUGH THE SEA, HE ONCE MARRIED A MERMAID OFF THE SHORELINE OF THE BLACK SEA SOUTH OF UKRAINE. GREG THEN PAID FOR HER RECONSTRUCTIVE SURGERY. SHE WAS SO GRATEFUL AND INSPIRED BY GREG’S GENEROSITY THAT SHE STARTED A CAREER IN STAND UP HERSELF! SHE GOT POPULAR BUT SHE GOT THE SURGERY BUG WHICH ENDED IN HER HONOURING HER TRUE PATH AS A MALE UKRANIAN COMIC. SHE THEN FOREVER WAS KNOWN BY HER STAGE NAME “VLODIMIR SLENSKY”.

BUT THIS IS NOT ABOUT VLODDY. GREG HAS DONE A TON OF CORPORATE GIGS. HE TELLS ME THAT HIS FAVOURITE ONE WAS ONE I GOT HIM. TELLING JOKES TO REDNECKS WHILST STANDING ON THE BACK OF A UTE. THIS IS THE MAGIC OF SHOWBIZ. HE HAS WRITTEN COLUMNS FOR BEAN SCENE MAGAZINE AND JOKES FOR THE NRL FOOTY SHOW AND HAS EVEN WRITTEN MATERIAL FOR RICH HALL, WHICH WAS USED IN HIS EDINBURGH COMEDY FESTIVAL SHOW. GREG WRITES FOR A LOT OF COMICS. I WOULD NAME THEM ALL HERE BUT I’D END UP JOINING MY SWEET MA IN GEFILTE FISH HEAVEN.

AS YOU CAN SEE, HE'LL PRETTY MUCH DO ANYTHING FOR MONEY. I’VE SEEN IT WITH MY OWN FREAKIN EYES. GREG HAS ALSO DONE MAJOR FESTIVALS LIKE THE MELBOURNE INTERNATIONAL COMEDY FESTIVAL, THE SYDNEY COMEDY FESTIVAL GALA AND HAS APPEARED ON TV SHOWS SUCH AS GOOD NEWS WEEK, HOME DELIVERED HUMOUR, O'LOGHLIN ON SATURDAY NIGHT, THE TODAY SHOW AND A CURRENT AFFAIR. WHAT A FREAKIN STAR RIGHT? I TOLD YOU. WHY DONT YOU BELIEVE ME WHEN I TELL YOU THINGS.

AS YOU CAN TELL BY LOOKING AT GREG, HE IS A HUGE SPORTS FAN. ITS TRUE. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH HE LIKES SPORT? GREG LIKES IT SO MUCH HE HAS DONE FUNCTIONS FOR THE QUEENSLAND REDS, THE QUEENSLAND BULLS, THE BRISBANE BRONCOS, THE BRISBANE LIONS AND STAYED IN CAMP WITH THE QUEENSLAND STATE OF ORIGIN TEAM.

OH AND RADIO! YOU LIKE RADIO STARS? THIS GUY HAS DONE IT ALL. HE CO-HOSTED A HIT SHOW ON TRIPLE M RADIO FOR 14 CALLED “THE CAGE”. NOT BAD FOR GROWING UP ON A WHEAT FARM HEY? EH? EH? I TOLD YOU. WHEN I TELL YOU I TELL YOU ALREADY.

SO THATS IT. THIS GUY DOES IT ALL. WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT TO KNOW. I’VE TOLD YOU HIS FREAKIN LIFE STORY ALREADY. BOOK HIM AND BOOK HIM LIKE ITS THE LAST THING YOU’LL EVER DO.

"VERY FUNNY, I WISH I'D THOUGHT OF THAT MYSELF." ANDREW DENTON